You know, I have always enjoyed the movie Serendipity with John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale. It's one of those movies that I just have to watch whenever I catch it on T.V., which is not often enough.
A couple of definitions for Serendipity that I found online are "when someone accidentally finds something good" or "the act of finding something valuable or delightful when you are not looking for it."
Tomorrow is my fiance's birthday, and I wanted to take a moment to tell him happy birthday in the best way I know how…with words.
To some of my readers, this will all make perfect sense. To some, it may sound at times like a foreign language. We met ingame, and we still actively participate, on Lord of the Rings Online. For the one it was intended, it will make perfect sense.
I met my fiance at a complicated time in my life. I was still, in many ways, reeling from an ended marriage that had truthfully been ended for a long time. I just wasn't good at giving up, even when there had been nothing left to hold on to for many years. I made the decision, and was quite content with the idea, that I would raise my boys and my yorkie puppy, and I would worry about myself at a later time in life. Right now would be all about my boys and their happiness.
So, then I met this person on this online game that I play. He had a soft voice, a kind voice, one that was very nice to hear, especially when you compare to the person I had been married to, who did nothing but yell all the time. There was never kindness there. There was never softness. There was never anything but hurt.
I met this person, and we started spending time together online, in this game world. Then there was this one day when he's not online for whatever reason, and I realized I felt disappointment…that I had begun to look forward to talking to him, whether it be via typing ingame or via voice chat.
I remember the exact moment I realized I was in trouble, that I had bypassed my intent to raise my boys on my own, that I was well on my way down the road to ut-oh!
There were two particular instances that we were doing quite a bit at the time, North Cotton Farms and Stoneheight. So, we were running one of them with a "hunter" friend. Something happened, I don't remember what now, but Mr Awesome (known ingame as Leafblade) laughed. And it made me smile. It made my heart skip. I can remember sitting there, thinking, oh no! I was in no way looking for this. I didn't think I was in any way emotionally ready for this.
I had spent a great deal of time deliberately building walls around my heart, sheltering myself from any possibility of being hurt again. It was like they were not even there, like I had not spent countless months trying to heal my damaged soul and my broken heart. I patched it together as best as I could, then I hid it away in a little box, with blue sharpie written on it…Do Not Open Until…Never! That was my intention.
He just…before I even knew what was happening, there he was, inside the walls, opening that box….heck, I didn't even see him open the box. By the time I realized what was going on, he had taken my little heart and stuck it in his back pocket and was heading off to kill more orcs.
It's really amazing the way you meet someone, and it feels like you've known them forever. Like, with that first hug, you get that sensation of coming home, that feeling that you belong. That is what happened to me. I have lived in one general area my entire life…1296 miles away from where he lives. I had never met him face to face, and when I did…it was like I had always known him. It didn't feel at all like I was meeting him for the first time. It was like meeting someone so special, someone that had always there, I just hadn't seen him yet. Then I turned around, and there he was, and it was like discovering a part of myself I didn't even know I was missing.
So I was in no way looking for someone, I was not remotely interested in being in love again, and yet it was one of the greatest moments in my life when I joined a Helegrod raid he posted…just a name at that time that I barely recognized. I remembered the *Leaf* part because of my fascination with autumn leaves and my love of all things *leaf* after grieving the loss of my son. A behavior very much unlike me, I took a chance and I asked him if I could join, and somewhere amongst killing drakes, I found my "something good." I found my very own serendipity.
Hope you have a magical birthday!
Now, on to some blog business…I will have the post for Michelle Muto's Haunting Season either late tomorrow night or first thing Wednesday morning, including a contest.